Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The many uses of boobs

I went for a run today. It felt good mentally, but physically... well I hadn't realized how out of shape I am. But still, went for about 40 minutes, and I'm hoping to make it a regular thing. Last year I went biking quite a bit, but my bike has fallen beyond repair and I don't have the money to lay out on a new one, so running is my best option. I even managed to find a route that is relatively flat, not an easy feat here in Dartmouth.

But on to the boobs. I was wracking my brains trying to think what to do with my keys while I was running. I had even thought about taking just my house key off the the chain and putting it in my shoe, but I didn't like the idea of running on a key. A bit of a back story, I don't have any good sports bras since I stopped playing soccer about 3 years ago, and skiing doesn't really make any difference to me if the girls are bouncing because they're under about 5 layers of clothing. I grabbed one of my old tank tops that has a built in shelf bra. It also squeezes the girls nice and tight. Makes me look like I have absolutely no chest, but that's okay for running. I threw on a t-shirt over it and I was ready to go. Still no place for keys, let alone my mp3 player. It hit me like a ton of bricks though! Mp3 player and keys in the boobs! It worked perfect. So then, as I was running (and listening to Rogue Traders, Scissor Sisters, Panic! at the Disco, Creature and more) I began to think about the many uses of boobs. So here is my list.

-They can buy you drinks when out on the town. Just wear a low cut top and know how to work the guys.
-Wonderful place for keys, cellphones, debit card, credit card, licenses, etc. when you don't want to carry a purse and/or bag.
-Obviously provide sustenance to new babies (if you are able to breast feed)
-Great distraction objects when the guys at a party try to do something that they should not be doing (ie the boys are trying to light a fire while drunk, you shout out "hey guys! look! boobies!")
-Hours of amusement to all sexes and orientations.
-Can get you out of tickets/warnings if you play your cards right.
-Place to hold cable needles, row counters, and other odds and ends while knitting
-Folding paper boxes is easier when you can use the extra couple inches of chest to push the semi-folded box against a wall.
-Closing filing cabinets while your hands are full.
-Men hold doors quite often (even more so when paired with high heels)

I'm sure I have forgotten many good things about boobs, but those are just the main things I can think of. On to knitting news! I'm working on a swatch of the Durrow Cable as an idea for the cable running down the sleeves of my Sweater of Impending Doom. I like it. I'll most likely use it unless I can find something better. I have also been working on the sweater itself. Not too much progress to report, but there are pictures! Yay, we like pictures don't we?

Such is the swatch. This photo was at row 40 something I think. I'm currently on 89 of 132. I'm pretty sure that It'll work out to be the right length for an arm.
Such is the Sweater of Impending DOOM!!! It's not that bad actually. You can kind of see how I separated the placket at the top. Although I think I messed up on which goes to the front for a chick's sweater. Oh well. Now I need to find buttons to go with it.

-cheers and happy knitting!

1 comment:

Michael said...

Scissor Sisters and Creature? Yes! I must investigate these 'Rogue Traders'...